DarkAngelsRhapsody

Time is so annoying, it goes fast when you don't want it to. And well when I want to try to hold on to it well it just slips through your fingers.

I have been bad about keeping up with things. (it doesn't help when the app doesn't tell me I got comments)

Last year was rough and this one has been busy already. Work and travel has been dragging me around. I am glad that my work is still being enjoyed, honestly I am glad to see the old renders getting love. Maybe I should rebuild the set up once I get my studio expanded. But that requires work and I have a list of to do already.

Anyway, I just wanted to say thanks.

First off, Yikes, the site changes have sneaked up on me and I honestly don't get notifications as much as I'd like so I want to say thank you for all the support, summer is a busy time of the year for me and I take whatever time I get to just chill out or sleep. If I am to be honest. I do create artwork often and maybe I will share some of them here. It's just exclusive stuff and I have to made a release window for posting it.

As for life, I made myself a cozy yet cluttered studio which thankfully was my hide away during the chaos that was lockdown and frankly still is because I get sick very easy with everything as soon as it comes out like catching a trend only this wasn't as fun of one.

I am a home body though so being at home didn't bother me until summer, when normally I'd go to festivals or just get it out. You know, do the social stuff. Which I do miss, and look forward to do again this August and into the fall. It wasn't weird for me to wear the mask, as I normally wear a mask when I go outside, because I need a filter to breath outside, due to my lungs being very sensitive thanks to a fire I breathed in to much smoke and having my lungs almost completely filled with gunk that I was sick for years, unable to talk and only eat oatmeal, which was fine, I still like it surprisingly. This is why, there is that break in time I didn't make artwork. I wasn't able too.

Of course after that period of suckage I was told I needed to wear a mask outside, for walks riding a bike or even walking my dog, so it has been a life style for me. So naturally the fear was getting sick. Which I did, I got better thankfully, lots of things were going on with my family which is a whole other cage battle royal of drama I'll skip for now. My boyfriends mother passes away due to Covid and so helping him through that a month before dealing with the anniversary of my own moms death sent me into a chaotic leave me the fuck alone mental state. I really don't do the whole family thing and having this new home, family dynamic is weird I'll be honest. Its so hard for me not to just want to back away into my comfort zone or take over completely. UGH! I tell you it's difficult I am such a creative person and to not just do whatever I want is killing me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So here I am, with two homes, only one with a studio and I am constantly going between them both and I am just overwhelmed if I think about it I get dizzy. SO I'm not thinking about it, right now. I still have lots of work to do today. You know adulting stuff. It's been pretty heavy but I am alive and I am glad to be able to share some new stuff. I don't know how you feel about the new stuff, I will be doing some renders soon as I normally do for my moms birthday in August. It has to be good enough though so we shall see. I really hope that everyone is doing well, if anything just let me know your doing alright and what's been going on, I will try to be more active here but it's really difficult when I don't get told someone messages me. And I am the worst at discord, so bad at it so sorry.

Times like this I am sure we are all starting to feel a whole lot like Alice right now, we have fallen down the rabbit hole and we have either embraced madness or we are running away from the mad red queen wielding an ax. With the Cheshires words hunting us as they become a reality. We are becoming mad here.

At times like this, I am grateful I was already in this world before it became a thing. A thing forced onto us by circumstances that were in the cards anyway. And as the pipe-smoking caterpillar would say, it is your destiny and fate will do what it will and something like that.

Thankfully I don't have insects talking to me...or my cats. Well, aside from the meowing of hey I am hungry or drama is gonna happen so get ready.

April was never an easy month for myself personally, I would escape through the rabbit hole to avoid the reminder of grief. I'm doing okay... as okay as I would ever truly allow myself anyway. I am keeping busy with odd things... and hanging out with friends online I hadn't talked to seriously in some time. And creating some crazy projects that I enjoy way more and spend just as much time on then renders. But I still will do renders this month, it just might take a week... But in the meantime. Enjoy some cute happiness.

Honestly are you not surprised this is where I sleep... with a bunch of cute stuff surrounded by my art. Skulls and unicorns.

Please stay safe, be kind and hang in there. <3 ^^

As I sit at home watching the world turn around me. The weather changes from warm to cold to rain and then snow. The sun peeks out and birds promise me a song that reminds me that life still functions around the chaos and fear. I have been in my studio and even though I am here I really haven't done much. But I felt I should make something. The normal escape didn't seem enough. So I decided to make the one thing that makes me happy and well hopefully others. I am thankful for all the support and I hope that I can provide you some solace in some way. That has been my goal since I started. I had to find my own solace and I am working on it still. If you can sink into a world I make and be better then that is all I ever want. Just like I find escape in worlds you create.

Sometimes it's even the world around me.

Be patient and be kind and be careful.

This year has been rough so far so I've been trying to keep myself busy with side projects. Including remixes of older Renders. As right now it takes me three-plus days to complete a high depth render on my old set up. I am still trying to get my new set up working correctly.

Its been a very trying experience. So renders will be far and between unless I can get some simple that I can post work to finish. But because I don't really care for February to much I don't really want to do a Valentine-themed one. I still need to think about this though. I might find inspiration somewhere before then, who knows.

I will be away for a couple of weeks next month as I have a much-needed vacation upstate for my boyfriend and I's anniversary. Plus his birthday. Normally I work on stuff there to stave off the lack of creativity and fight off boredom.

That's about it for the update, I wish it could be more upbeat but I'm not one to cover up how I feel. And saying that, I am glad for the support and all the creative minds that save me from myself.